I have a friend who is constantly telling me obscure pizza facts. I feel like he knows where to get pizza in every town on earth, including hipster places that make only one or two pizzas per day and charge 30 or 40 bucks each. I think it’s kind of dumb to research this level of detail about pizza, but he is super into it, and what’s the real harm?

I told him he should start a blog. He said, “People will think it’s stupid if I tell them I’m starting a blog.”

I told him it’s called “building a platform.” Which I keep reading about, and which never ceases to annoy me.

That’s why today I’m giving away an iPad to the first three callers.

Anyway I wish I had something as specific as pizza that I wanted to obsess over and write about ad nauseum. I don’t, so I’m going to kick it old school and write diary entries on here. My plan is for any men who dumped me in the past to see my super-cool diary entries and to regret ever breaking up with me.

Welcome to my non-pizza-related blog!